stayed up past 5. It felt great to paint in the basement. without the pressure of creating a masterpiece, painting is my favorite. listened to the Beastie Boys and painted big and sloppy, in a Tshirt and underwear. felt like college. concluded I only like painting big sloppy and colorful. occurred to me that, in fact, I am big, sloppy and colorful - everything about me is. I painted the chairs, painted the boards for the theatre, baked the cakes, and made 6 of 40 napkins before calling it quits on that idea and going to bed. Just finished assembling the puppet theatre outside: Yay for duct tape. And man is it hot out. taking a little break before I wash the floor. I know, nobody cares. We all had french toast and bacon together and talked about when Eleanor was born for a long time. Chris took all the girls to see Despicable Me. Fun for all, including me. Yes. I now find more pleasure in cleaning alone than in seeing a movie. Its all about context.

We're having a party tomorrow. I try to keep it casual but I always start too many projects when I'm on 'we're having a party' adrenaline rush. It is 10:00. P.M. The only thing I've accomplished so far is most of the shopping. Arracheras go on sale tomorrow, so I'll just get in line with everyone else waiting to get 10# tenderized then. What I had the audacity to think I would get done before bed today (and totally confident of until the last five minutes in the car when all girls started screaming or crying about 9PM):

1. paint circus stripes on 3 4'x8' pieces of cardboard
2. jigsaw circus-like curly-q's into these
3. assemble into a puppet theatre with hinges
4. bake a 3 tier cake
5. make the frosting
6. sew 40 napkins (I bought and cut 10 kinds of fabric to make reusable napkins yesterday when I also bought 3 dozen settings of IKEA kids tableware so we never buy paper goods for a party again.)
7. paint dining room chairs (same paint as puppet theatre)
8. assemble puppet making craft for party guests
9. Don't stress out Chris with too many projects

Tomorrow: make special birthday breakfast, grocery shop, make guacamole, make fruit basket out of a watermelon, clean house, frost cake, put that bed lying against the house - that I dragged up from the basement by myself a month ago that Chris says we can't put on the curb because his friend in Colorado might sleep over one day even though he never has and we don't have a mattress for it - back in the basement, shower, don't stress Chris out with too many projects.

No wonder I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown by the time anyone shows up.

Pa had another small stroke and went into the hospital today. Each one feels like a wave goodbye. Will meditate on this while making red velvet cakes.

My friend Amy invited the girls and I to collect honey today. I was a little nervous at first but no one got stung and it was no big deal. The kids spent hours making structures out of scrap wood.
Yesterday Chris and I went to Pitchfork to see Pavement. It was pretty fun. At first it was boring because so many of the bands were no energy. I spent some time sitting and staring at the ground (looking stoned) really focused on a painting series I've been formulating.

I should be writing a simple lesson for class - it's 3 in the morning and two cups of coffee this afternoon have me still shaking my leg - but I'm actually still procrastinating. I will have little choice but to continue this cycle of caffeine use in four hours to make it through class.

We are having an awesome summer. I'm enjoying the kids so much, I'm enjoying Chris, we have a social engagement almost every day, sometimes two, and you can tell we've been having fun because the house is a neglected disaster. Time to invite someone over for motive.

planted strawberries and rhubarb today, dripped sweat tilling the whole side yard, marked spots for stepping stones and espaliered fruit tree coming next spring. had a friend over for lunch, then another stopped by to drop off all those plants and stayed for tea. I felt like life is very good and full of friends. Now I just feel tired. Took kids to great america yesterday - home at 1AM. Took students to the loop (then met the kids at the pool afterward...then had birthday cake at T's) the day before. Cleaned the house and had my new friends from Chile over the night before that. house is still a little clean. been enjoying green smoothies this week. for example, 2 small mangoes, an orange, a celery stick, a leaf of kale, and two fistfuls of greens in the vita mix. I love it. change the recipe everyday to balance nutrients and give body variety. Tonight, E and G and I stood in the street pulling on a rope tied to the tree that Chris was hacking off. We finally cut it down! I wondered if our new neighbors had bets on whether we'd bring down our gutters - sorry ladies, no damage. Gracie tantrum-ed for an hour when she saw the super fun jungle gym - aka, the the trunk - was going to be sawed into little bits, as though it were a new pet that was being cut into bits. the humanity. we saved her about 300 pounds worth of an interesting bridge shape of trunk to be dragged into the backyard for keeps, but she was fixated on 'the whole thing.'

Kids are getting stars for goals on a chart this week - trial for getting organized. There are a few chores and hygiene tasks, but also fun things like 'play outside,' 'field trip,' and 'swim.' I promised them we would go to the library (they are very into the reading program this year), a pool, and a field trip every week. Last week we went to Cantigny with A and O.