Last night I paid an evening babysitter, then I stayed up till 3 watching Adventures in Babysitting.

Read this. The article talks about toxic chemicals (from cleaning supplies, food packaging, personal care products, etc.) passing through the umbilical cord.

see what happens if we don't keep up with it?I went with my cousin tonight to another cousin's "we got married far away" party. It was nice. We started planning a weekend in Florida that I hope works out. One aunt was a french braid bandit . I came home with quite a do. I left with feel good feelings and looking forward to seeing everyone again for Christmas. Another aunt and uncle came over last night and lavished my children with gifts. We made Christmas cookies.

Gracie waxes her upper lip


Today we went to the gym: all the kids ran around the gym and I went to a spinning class and showered. All three girls then went roller skating. It was a joy to see the older kids help the toddlers skate. Next, I dropped them off at Sue's and went to work to get ready for our semester end party. It was such a success. The kids participated in the potluck and one of them even brought pico de gallo, my favorite food. I brought brownies, my other favorite food. The walls were covered in art, the students were all there, parents, friends and city people came. I received some nice compliments from students and parents. I had my picture taken with the mayor. It was fun.

Right now I am really interested in the Weston A Price Foundation, a dietary philosophy that encourages raw dairy and pastured meats, and Charlotte Mason, a nineteenth century homeschooling philosophy that starts children in nature as much as possible, with no formal training, then starts them in on classic literature, poetry, and art history. They also make lapbooks, delightful, non-linear scrapbook-like collections of info and imagery on a studied subject.

e-waste etc.

This blog has a great blogroll on the lower right, where I found this:
How to talk to a climate skeptic

My sister is in Lagos right now.


The second video on this link about e-waste in China is especially good. (thanks, Dee)

Today I am trying to get organized. I am seeking online inspiration for a set menu, in order to buy the same grocery list every week or so ... to simplify and streamline. My mind feels like more of a sieve lately than usual.

We had a busy weekend of visits, crafting, gingerbread house making, industrial quantity cookie making, and driving around. So, this morning we did nothing. I bought some Christmas presents online and was very upset that I was automatically signed up for a $29.95/mo shopper's club and only knew about it because they sent an email to welcome me. I called and waited to talk to someone who sounded on another continent to cancel my scam membership. I am feeling wary of who I buy online from now. hotmoviesale.com was the site that led to an automatic membership with smartsavingscenter.com. Beware.

gracie blows a bubble

Chris suggested we go to Old Country Buffet for breakfast today.  Afterwards, we cleaned house, then Charlotte and I did a little shopping.  We picked up board books at the thrift store to paint as photo albums.  

Wendy came over and we had a nice visit.  I maniacally decided to make her a fabric stencil of John's face for her to use as a craft.  When she left, I ran a gift card over to the neighbor for her baby shower.  They told me to stay and I felt bad that I couldn't.  We went straight to my mom's to make gingerbread houses and got home after 11.  

Last night I organized the 2000 photos from Hawaii till 3 in the morning.  I am determined to make an album for Amy by tomorrow morning when we go over to make cookies.  Amy invited us to Hawaii this summer, got us buddy passes for the plane and shared her family's condo.   I've been meaning to make her a little artist book about it for six months now.

there's a penis!

(not in the video. I just like the video.)


While reading the girls a library book for kids about Michelangelo, I laughed about tape someone had put over a penis. They asked what was funny and then looked for as many penises as they cold find. "there's a penis! there's a penis" in stereo.

Gracie loves to wear a belt.


Today we had friends over because I locked the keys in the car at gymnastics and Tracy was kind enough to drive us around. We had lunch, played with two electricity kits, and then went to an art opening together. It was fun.

She was interested in seeing my artwork. I have no confidence about anything I've ever made and about how prolific I've never been. I don't want to disappoint anyone who thinks I am a real artist. There is only one way to solve this: put the kids to bed on time and go downstairs and paint till Chris gets home. Stop talking. Worst case scenario: I get bitten by a spider. Best case scenario: I finish the work due in March, I become a better teacher for becoming a better artist, I start to sell work and make enough to take the family on an RTW. Or even just pay the dentist. Stop talking.

...look at their castle.


closer...

what a douche. I am mostly hopeful that things can only get better for IL gubernatorially.

This weekend we saw the Smashing Pumpkins at the Aragon. It was amazing. I felt like I was witnessing something important. They rocked so hard and the lights were so intense, I felt like my chest ripped open like a black hole and it all swirled in. The last half hour or so, his brother (who is disabled) came on stage and played the timpani drums and tambourine. They were so at home on stage, Billy walking around and laughing. It was great. They are not rocking hard here, but this is from that show and one of my favorite songs in high school.


I took the girls rock climbing this week but forgot my camera.

We spent Sunday afternoon, the five of us, making paper snowflakes, getting a little competitive.

The girls, especially Charlotte, have been making little puppets from craft sticks and construction paper. I had no hand in this. In fact, I read a book this week during school hours. Totally slacked. Honeymoon with my Brother.

They did math and grammar worksheets today. And played on the computer too long. We made gingerbread men and elf paper doll chains.

This week I quit the gym and then rejoined it at Chris' urging. For my sanity, not my hot body.

I am done with pink hair. I can never last more than two weeks. I think I've done a version of pink five times this fall. For the first time in six years. I'm not sure what that's about. I don't want to get caught up in perfecting myself in a media sexy way. Pink reminds me to keep my sense of humor and youth. My hair is fried. I only care about world travel right now and can't be bothered with hair maintenance. This is why I shaved my head in college. I just didn't want to deal with it. I was thinking that's what doing drugs is like: you have problems so you try to escape them - it's like not wanting bangs anymore so you cut them off at the scalp. It only delays your happy results.

Nigeria puts the fear of God in me

Last week I wrote that I was zero parts Christian and its been rolling around in my mind since then in a guilty sort of way. Tonight I told the girls, for the first time, to pray when I put them to bed. Specifically for my sister and her family, who were due to be taking off for Nigeria at that very moment.

We grew up in a fundamentalist church. Turnoffs included the inevitable consequences of black and white thinking, my mom's overreactions to popular culture; cliques, materialism, the mad, angry Sunday mornings in a rush to look good and get to Sunday school on time, a youth pastor who believed dancing was a sin but called people 'faggot' in disgust, the behavior of most Christians, the megalomania, the insincerity, the boringness of having to listen to WMBI in the car, and an overall inability to really believe what I was being taught - to deep inside have 'the fire.' I tried really hard. I was in the leadership sector of the youth group. I outlined the new testament on my own in junior high. I went to countless youth revivals. I went to Jesus camp.

I found my real friends outside the church. I rebeled as hard - harder- than my mom tried to control me. I questioned 2000 year old Christianity in the scope of human history. I questioned the role of missionaries and the legitimacy of other religions. I embraced evolution. I went to college. I lived in Japan. I read Ken Wilbur. The last shred of religion dropped off when my Protestant background and my new husband's Catholic background clashed.

A Christian lobbyist was talking on NPR about Obama's abortion reduction plans. That is the most hopeful thing I've heard on this yet. A shift from the hateful black and white thinking. Just like we can't remove every soldier from Iraq tonight, we can't stop all abortions with a law. There has to be education and a long term plan crafted from compromise.

Anyway, it planted in me a seed of hope, a softening. There is a narrow shaft of light inside that shines with a belief in God, not necessarily Jesus, but it is usually obscured by shifting layers of irritation with Christians. I just caught a glimpse.

In daily news, I had an AM panic attack over Sallie Mae, we went roller skating, the girls upgraded to in-line skates, and Charlotte had a nice first playdate at Gabby's.

I enjoyed this.

guerrilla snowman builders

This morning I successfully juggled a shower, straightening my hair, making turkey chili, washing all the dishes from the last few days, getting the kids to help each other and get themselves ready to the hats for our winter hike, and got the car started. I checked directions to our group destination as I walked out the door only 30 minutes late and discovered our event was canceled. Sometimes it pays to procrastinate. At that moment of realization, I heard the door open and from the corner of my eye saw a full size person, as opposed to one of my half-heights, walk in the door and I screamed. It was Sue, who relished making me squeal, here to clean the house. She loves cleaning, after 8 years I'm finally realizing that's actually true, and wanted to help out. Yay! I no longer feel defensive about this. So the girls and I went for a hike closer by and fashioned a snowman out in the woods. They brought a carrot. Eleanor's lips were orange. She brought one to eat, too.
Look at the sweat

and tears

that went into this undertaking. Good times. The weather was relatively warm and the snow was perfect packing, rolled up like insulation.

Charlotte is taking great pride in the opportunity to show off her mad writing skills.
Eleanor is digging math today. We covered borrowing and she tried to make pattern puzzles to trick Chris with.

In school, I am stumping some students not used to independent thought with a project based on the work of Romare Bearden.
I brought some of my books to class for an enthusiastic, talented student and enjoyed flipping through them, rekindling adolescent passions

which started around twelve with a queer nostalgia for Route 66, then Kerouac and Neal Cassady but then Diane DiPrima and Carolyn Cassady's Off the Road and onto the sixties and communal culture and the San Francisco music scene and SARK and raves and painting and Basquiat and Pollock and then an obsession to circle the globe with only a few belongings on my back and then STOP! grow up, you're going to have a baby, I reeled back a bit, lost my creative fire briefly, but came back with a job Japan and then an obsession with obscure artists who make work in unique media like Mel Chin and Rirkrit Tirvanija and Yukinori Yanagi and artists like Allen Kaprow, Yves Klein, and Minor White. And now I teach and parent and have cultivated a pleasure in being still. An ethical Beat. More zen than I ever could have been before the responsibility of kids. And now is not my time to be artistically prolific or obsessed with my own desires. I was looking through old photos of the girls and I want to throw up they are so cute and that stage is already over. Sometimes I blink and realize briefly that I am in a wormhole of parenting my young children and next time I blink, it will be over.

dog hair in the cranberries

Listening to NPR on the way to drop the kids off for work, heard the corporate jet-setting auto CEO's were driving hybrid cars to DC this time to ask for their 25 billion.  I laughed out loud.  "What's so funny, mommy?"  Can't you picture these fat cats stuffed into one little hybrid, wringing their tails?  Driving what, 12 hours?  I don't know really, maybe they're nice guys.  

The city inspector came for the annual check of our rental house this morning.  I was too afraid to tell him about the door not fitting in the doorway in front of the landlord.  The space actually lets light in.  I'm thinking about it now because I feel the draft from the next room.  

We went to the library with Gracie today.  She is entering that terribly two range.  She is also talking more.  She has to brush her teeth anytime anyone else brushes teeth.  She rubs her finger across her teeth and says "teeee" with the corners of her mouth spread as far apart as possible.  

We also went to Borders, where I used my 20% homeschool discount and a birthday gift card to buy math and reading workbooks.  I bought Spectrum and Kumon.  The girls love it.  They left their Christmas movie to do another workbook page before bed. 

Yesterday I think I had mastitis.  Just for one day.  I was shaking with chills and fever and aches like a heroin addict going cold turkey.  I called Chris crying to come home from studying so I could take a nap before we both went to work.  The girls played in the snow.  They were excited to keep putting on their snowpants.  When I got home from work that night, feeling considerably better, I studied them and realized I hadn't been present with them at all that day.  That was how it felt every day when Eleanor went to first grade.

Thanksgiving was fine and I am just now ending it with the leftovers.  I am at this very moment procrastinating a late night batch of turkey chili.

Gracie helped my mom make pie crust.

We made "all nine kinds of pie that Harold liked best." ...I still have three whole pies left.  

The next day, Chris trussed the turkey and stuffed it with White Castle stuffing he made himself.


Eleanor helped me make deviled eggs, but no one was on time, so no one ate them.


The dinner was good, though. It was our first turkey. My favorite part was the cranberry applesauce. I put 24 oz of fresh cranberries, maybe a cup or so of sort of still frozen chunks of apple that didn't fit into the pies, a cup of sugar, and two cups of water into a sauce pan and cooked it down for maybe twenty minutes, then put it through the vita mix. I would have used less water. Like maybe a cup. And I would have strained it before serving it to my sister in law. My magical vita mix did not blend away all of the cranberry skins, leaving only little curled up shreds that bore a striking resemblance to a lot of white dog hair. I strained the leftovers for myself the next day and really enjoyed it.


The next day we went to the holiday parade and saw the fireworks with family.


And the next day we saw Nada Surf at the Metro. It was awesome.
This is my favorite song by them.