today was Theresa's funeral and her birthday.  We had a wonderful lunch at Maggiano's and spent the last two days with family.  I met some new cousins.  Gram has another sister who looks a lot like her, only bigger.  and I looked into her face and ached for Gram.  Most of the time I live a pretty Buddhist mentality of letting go, so this wanting-feeling surprised me.  I also visited her grave for the first time today.  She died four years ago.  When I was a kid, I used to cry myself to sleep imagining she would die someday.  

I got it into my head today that I would like the girls to attend a private college prep high school. I went to one the first two years of HS, then to a public school.  I saw an old friend (from my first school) yesterday for the first time in ten years.  The level of vocabulary in her chit chat and how well her family seems to be doing made me think maybe I've just been slumming since I left that first school.  

I have more energy and feel more confident and in control since I stopped eating sugar and flour and started juicing.  It's the little excuses throughout the day that stop me from attaining my goals, and this diet change feels like enough to push me back on track.  Today, though, I celebrated and enjoyed all the selections offered.