confessions of a total idiot

so, I replanted all the seedlings because their stems were getting long and white... I thought that part should go back underground. This involved bringing in soil from outside (a known no-no) and mixing it with peat and vermiculite - which to my horror seems to contain a carcinogen- mixing them on my dining table like an enormous amount of dough - letting the baby play in the dirt (pre verm.)- telling the kids to go out in the rain to get every freecycled pot we had...

But the seedlings really just need more light.  The south facing window is not enough. So then I bought a 4 ft shop light with T8 bulbs. That clearly will not light my entire dining room table full of pots, diameters ranging from 3 to 12 inches (self-flogging) from a height of 2 inches.

So now I just carefully spooned every plant back into the peat pot trays so they will fit under the light because I can't afford to buy more than one light (all the while self-flogging.)

At this point, if a single plant survives, I will feel like I won the lottery.

Also, I am afraid of leaving the light on for fear it will burn...because it is resting on two plastic pots...because the chains aren't long enough and I can't figure them out anyway. It's 2AM.

wwoof!

awesome tiny farm reference

please save me from myself. I can't stop looking for land online.

I know what leggy seedlings are now. aargh. trying to fix them without spending lots of money. The entire dining room table is now covered in newly potted, tiny dying vegetables and flowers. brassicas are leggiest, night scented stock is most fragile. Feeling stressed/overwhelmed by these needy seedlings.

Enjoying spring break - don't want to go back. went to maple syrup tapping demo today and spent time with good friends. Everyone I know wants land to self-sustain on. Is it the times or who I know?

Ray's chicks arrived today.

WWOOFing may be an option. Why not? This would be a hard sell for Chris.

As the New Urbanist Andres Duany said recently, “Gardening is the new Golf!” alarmist, but not totally off-base.

My burning desire: to develop the skill set to thrive off-grid before it becomes a necessity.

...

I am garden-blog hopping and stumbled on the beach we went to with the kids one afternoon in Hawaii last year where I locked the keys in the car. I don't have my own pictures of the experience, which included my walking back to the highway, hitch-hiking, losing my flip flops, and thinking I was lost - because there were no batteries in the camera. I love an adventure.

procrastinators unite

Sprouts are growing fast. Eleanor likes to spray them before bed and take inventory of every detail. She just discovered the first set of true leaves. She kisses the plants and sings to them. After one week, we have to take the covers off.

We went on a fantastic field trip this week to Whole Foods, which I'm normally not a big fan of. Our guide was so sweet and patient and they were very generous with the samples. I noticed they had a nice seed selection and may just go there next time. I was so proud of the girls answers to food questions. It was really cute when the guide compared pesticides to the lawn treatments your parents may get, the kids looked around unsure of what she was referring to - none of these parents had ever done that! Yay for unschoolers.

I am enjoying gardening as an easy topic of conversation with new friends.

Last night Chris and I stayed up till 4 finishing our pieces. Classic. He got up at 7 to finish his frames and found out his Grandpa had died. We got everything done and brought the work in in the last half hour before the gallery closed. I am proud of him. He is more talented than me, but I just think that makes him hotter. I have my own strengths. those who can't, teach? maybe. I like teaching. I figured this week that after taxes, daycare, transportation, and prep time, I make seven dollars an hour. If I didn't like it, I would quit. This week, one of my very sweet students asked me if I'd like a ride on his motorcycle after class. I said I would, but I shouldn't. He had told me that day that he really appreciated that I don't treat them like kids, that I treat them as equals. I told him that you can learn something from every person, no matter how old they are. I wonder how they treat them at school.

artist statement - power shovels

Six years ago, I felt trapped in a sprawling suburb. Excavators became my visual symbol for a lack of community design, what seemed a greedy gobbling of every last stretch of farm and prairie. I began photographing the excavators and painting the photographs. I came to obsess over the patina, the shape. Giant devouring dinosaurs.

We escaped suburban life to an adventure in Japan. We were sent to Komatsu. In Japan, they're called "power shovels." Purple, teal, green power shovels. I saw a power shovel painted like a dinosaur skeleton.

Still now, my kids and I yell "power shovel!" when we see one, with an enthusiasm unrivaled by Mike Mulligan himself. Right back here in the same suburb, where we now enjoy living.

These are encaustic paintings, which is pigment in beeswax, the most permanent of any paint because it is airtight. I like the irony of using a media that can last longer than an era of ill-planned subdivisions. These particular power shovels are in various yoga poses, meditating on the current state of the landscape.

scary new art direction

So the other day, in the last week rush to finish paintings for one show, I received an email that they needed images now for the June show - they're doing a catalogue. I don't even know what I'm doing, let alone have done it. I can't use the same paintings because it's at the same venue.

I'm all excited about planting and sunshine - got my transplants started this week, in between painting and ignoring kids and housework in the name of painting. The girls went to the woods and fishing with my dad yesterday and are at my mom's today to fly kites and plant some seeds. So they're good. My power shovel series is almost done and due in 3 days. It's good enough. But I think I'm done with shovels maybe. It's been 6 years.

new series: encaustic on panel. thinking: ...recalling Gram's garden, carefully cutting flowers from her catalogues, permaculture, mixing vegetables and flowers and herbs, cottage gardens, my own garden plans this year, secret gardens for little girls, cob building, window seats

I'm afraid I'm going a little Thomas Kinkade, It's OK. I'll figure it out.

Maybe I'm just intoxicated on the first sunshine of the year.

(written the next day)
So I called my favorite professor and asked for her advice. She suggested I plant my excavators in my new garden beds like they were excavating because that is the stage my garden is in and it is too hard to paint a summer garden in early spring. She is is right, so I did and sent the photograph. I like it. called it, under construction. sooooo.... now I owe them a statement about this photo and the work that will accompany it in June....

(next day)

here's what I went with:

"Under Construction" is a transition from my excavator obsession toward a new series about learning to homestead. Excavators have been an anthropomorphic icon of our local suburban sprawl. Previously a symbol of frustration, my angst has all run out and they are little more now than toys excavating my early Spring garden. This new work documents my growing skills in gardening, canning, raising chickens, and other misadventures toward self-sufficiency.
...

Today. made corned beef, cabbage, potatoes. did not wear green. had to lay down the law at work tonight. gorgeous day, took the girls to the outdoor mall to get a black t shirt for work. got carried away as I discovered Eddie Bauer and left with four shirts. Found out tonight that that and the last three charges were in the red. always a punch in the stomach. Our TV broke yesterday. No more picture - nothing happened. just stopped working.  It's almost 2 and a half years old. I think it's part of the conspiracy to build things that don't last so you have to buy more. story of stuff. makes me not want to have a tv anymore.

All's well though. I felt very happy today. It was 70 and sunny. I did a lot dishes from when I had been painting and ignoring housework.

I am very in love with Chris. that makes everything seem good. I don't know what it is. He has been drawing for the show and I think his portraits are genius. and I think he's hot. He's the greatest guy I've ever known. He is kind and straightforward and he doesn't take any shit from me.

I've also been basking in the realization that I have everything I need - and THAT - is great. I love my rented house and my town and the people in my life. Living less than paycheck to paycheck is not a cause for daily unhappiness. I've just figured that out and I feel joyous. We eat and are sheltered and have jobs and transportation and are healthy and have each other. today. right now. that's it. AND the weather is great.

My transplants are sprouting.

skunk in the living room

 Our landlord came over today with a trap for our matted friend who lives under the porch.  I'm guessing it's in there.  When I arrived home late with the kids, I honestly was a little afraid it got in the house somehow.  The smell is more intense in the front room than outside on the porch.  

We received our last seeds, from Baker Creek, with 2 dollar bills paper clipped to the invoice.  Something was sold out.  Oh please not the rainbow chard!  ...No rainbow chard.  If I could only grow one thing this year, it would have been rainbow chard.  I have been gushing about it for a month.  Anybody have seeds to trade?  

So far I prefer Seed Savers Exchange.  I prefer the seed packaging, the website, the photos of the vegetables, and they shipped faster.  

We had a busy day today.  We played for hours at the park with our best buds,

went out to lunch with Chris, took a walk in the woods with Chris,


visited Pa and my Dad, went to an art opening far away,

and visited our good friend Oliver.  

bacon in the printer

Sunday night I wrote out a schedule for myself for the week.  Monday went great.  We even squeezed in an oil change.  There's no excitement like seeing the family car up in the air for the first time.  

This morning, Tuesday, I skipped the gym before bringing the kids to a homeschool gathering that gave me a headache behind my eyes.  Work was good except the headache came back and I started to get dizzy and my knees buckled a little. The kids all cried in the car on the home.  Eleanor because she had to pee, Charlotte because Eleanor was going to get pee on her, and Gracie just cause.  I sent them to pajama themselves and hid a box of thin mints under my pillow and proceeded to eat the entire box.  One sleeve before the bedtime story, one sleeve after. 

With my mind-numbing cookie eating behind me, I tried to start on my paintings by taping a piece of tissue paper to printer paper so I could embed the image on tissue within wax.  

I might as well have put a slab of bacon in the printer.