we took the girls to their first indoor concert, at the Vic, to see They Might Be Giants. Chris was furious that we were late, but it was awesome - they kept shooting off ticker tape and I finally had someone to dance with, we were up close, the band was cool, and they closed the set with DR WORM! So exciting!

Original inspiration:

very nervous. might not get financing for house. need better letters of explanation as to why we are financial losers. I don't know and cannot explain this. my universe is just parallel to one in which I am hyperventilating. Instead, I am soothing myself, gorging on pretty images online. Hidden in France is my favorite right now.

(Posie gets Cozy)

Visually self-soothe till my eyes burn.

The house is clean.

The landlord came over at 8 tonight to show the house and now it is rented. Pressure off. I called my next door neighbor as soon as they left to tell her I thought the new lady seemed nice. I will miss my neighbor.

So far nothing has gone wrong with the house purchase. I was very pleased that the house appraised for more than the accepted offer. We are still bumbling the deferring of our student loans, but it will be OK either way.

Gracie and I went shopping today while we waited for the girls' history club. I forget how fun shopping is. I bought MAC eyebrow wax and a scented candle for my mom's birthday - which got me my own "free" scented candle and a free lotion. I picked "warm vanilla sugar" and my house does smell much nicer than usual. So did Gracie and I, after killing time with lotions and perfumes. All this is only worth mentioning (if that) because I NEVER go to a mall and I'm always surprised and a little confused at how much I like the experience. Apparently I think Bath and Body Works are for the regular, unthinking variety of housewives, whereas I hold my self to a more deeply researched standard. Bath and Body Works uses a lot of parabens. But... sometimes I don't have the time or the money or the desire to seek out just exactly the perfect choice. Sometimes I just want convenience and for my house to smell like warm vanilla sugar.

Top three minimum make-up bits: MAC eyebrow wax, Estee Lauder powder bronzer, and Burt's Bees pomegranate lip balm.

Highlights of my birthday weekend: time spent with my husband, time spent with a few friends over great Thai food, and seeing Whip It. Naturally, I decided I should do roller derby. Turns out I don't have time. I can't even go to a bout because of work.

Work's fun, though. I like those kids, them crying about drawing drapery, me mocking them, all having a fun time. I mean, I'm not a paramedic; it's pretty fun. And if I get fired, I think I've got a farm job. All the more reason that I need these:

I daydream of home decor to escape my anxiety.

I am thinking the jumping off point for the new house is fifties, but into fifties exotica. Not just Tiki - that's tired - but that fifties fascination for exotic cultures - whether Oceanic, Japanese, African, Indian, Morrocan. I think the classic fifties springboard is (the era of the building and) my precious Grandmother's influence. When I was a kid, she was my BFF for a number of years, so that influence was strong. I think the fifties exotica comes from my Grandpa (other side) and the sort of Panamanian souvenirs from his brother and the garage sale junkie bachelor pad thing he had going. My version of this is very different than his was, but I think that's where it started. And probably watching Road movies with my dad, you know, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby have misadventures somewhere exotic.

I want one of these from Lori Brown.

How about some of these to line the kitchen shelf?

Chandelier?

OMG

We bought a house. Our first one. It feels like getting married.

I had some anxiety trying to commit to what we wanted. I considered buying something really awful so we could lower our monthly costs. I considered buying far enough out to do some farming. In the end, we found a small house in good shape in a decent neighborhood, not too far from where we are now.

Chris is working a lot of overtime. I feel grateful to him. I'm trying to work just as hard at home while he's gone. We went to an apple orchard today. We hung onto our friends' son while they closed on their first house. It was fun to join them in their new home for the first time. We weeded.

I met a farmer last week who offered me a job. I can bring the kids. I think this would be a great step towards my next career as a micro-farmer.

All's well. Back at work. (have my camera.) We are very busy and I've realized I have to consciously schedule down time or it will get eaten up by all the fun places to go and people to see. I am writing down what to do and what we did in a notebook for now, hoping to get a bit more organized. Current house status: very tidy, 3 loads of dishes to finish, 7 loads of laundry to fold, 1 guitar to practice. The girls and I have plans to jog at 7:30, as we haven't logged mileage for our "race" in a while. We'll see how that goes. Eleanor made really cute paper dolls for her history club book report this week. I didn't help her at all. Will post pictures when the dishes are done. Charlotte made a ferris wheel car out of recycled boxes, etc. We are house hunting pretty seriously. We've been out twice and are on our second agent, who we're happy with now. We've seen some maybes. I'm really hoping for some studio space where I can have students, especially with the more precarious nature of my job lately.

I was really dragging my feet about going back to work because it's hard to homeschool and keep house and work, but I LOVE it. I love teenagers. They intimidated me the first year a little bit, but I feel like we're good now. And I like teaching art. I've taught the same courses now for 10 semesters, so I've got it pretty down. That's a relief - no more late night lesson planning. Of course I still tweak it every time.

We visited some new friends in Hyde Park this weekend. They were really cool and I can't believe how cool Hyde Park was. If we moved to the city, that is completely where we'd head. I love me some lake.

I had to cancel Eleanor's theatre class. It was too much. House-hunting is a lot. Next semester, Eleanor. I also regret sending Charlotte to the fancier ballet school. I should have saved our money and gone to the park district at this age. I might do that for the spring. I don't know what got into me. Keep It Simple, Stupid.