Permaculture Principles.

Spray-painting half a black wig white for cruella deville costume. finished cape yesterday. mom came last night to help pack. nice visit. I'm in a bit of a sugar coma? I feel uneasy...yucky...maybe also nervous-ish about house moving stuff. Nothing is wrong. Kit kats are a bad breakfast choice. I have that paralyzed sort of panic creeping up. Up all night because I had two cups of coffee at class last night.

Excited to see how much fun a Flaming Lips concert on DVD was - Wayne Coyne on the crowd in a bubble, confetti, streamers, balloons, dancers in costume. Disappointed to see they use the same tricks at every show, too many druggies in the crowd. I can save my money.

I packed homeschool books and crafts and toys already. I don't have the energy to pull the kids away from the TV to take a walk in the woods. Fail.

Took the kids to the dentist today. Disappointed that our friendly, low tech dentist is going fancy. I'll have to find a new dentist. Do you know how hard it is to find a dentist who doesn't push cosmetic extras? They hired a consultant who told them to take down the polaroids of the kids who didn't get a cavity at their last visit - fun to look at and friendly - and replace it with a tired poster of La Grande Jatte. It really bummed me out.

fester

Today the mortgage broker called to let me know how much we needed for the closing on Friday and to ask what we like on our pizza, as he will send four pizzas and soda to our moving party at the new house. I thought that was so nice. I found my passport last night, which was really exciting because I thought I was up some kind of creek without an ID for the closing.

Charlotte turned 7 last week. We had two families over and kept it real tame like. She got such nice gifts from these good friends. One made her a skirt and a matching skirt for her doll and matching purse. The others looked for two days for a tiny toad, after I told them she'd just lost hers and cried for hours. The thought and time that went into these gifts made them so special. I bought Charlotte a 3 musketeers Barbie, as requested. I was so pleased that she loves toads and Barbies.

For the record, I no longer give the girls allowance or continue with any schedule I may ever have mentioned. Also, Gracie weaned about 3 weeks ago and she replaced some of that time with snuggling, which she previously wasn't into.

I am enjoying the Tao of Pooh; tonight we read about Wu Wei, or non-action. This is like unschooling. It looks like you are doing nothing, but the things are getting done and there isn't the stress of forcing it.

My latest idea, which comes from my friend/boss, is to start a local charter school. I am trying to imagine an unschooling-friendly non-curriculum that would be be appealing enough to warrant tax dollars. It may be worth pursuing because the biggest motivation I have is to serve the kind of high school kids I know now through my classes (which won't continue forever because of budget problems.) I can go on my merry way doing what I want for my own kids, but I think I could really help a lot of other kids and the community as a whole, too - and if my motives stay selfless, it still has the potential to be a good idea.

I envision as small a student body as possible. Like 20 would be perfect. Maybe we'd cover academics in the morning, have lunch together - mostly grown and prepared by the students, and send them each out for the afternoon to different apprenticeships or college classes appropriate to their goals. Every student would have an IEP, a plan, co-authored by them. Students can use the facilities of the community, get out into the real world and learn to live and work alongside a wide range of ages, while becoming useful and valued residents. ... I think the day should start with yoga and that art-making as therapy should be heavily involved, but I'm afraid that's just me and a little too granola. ... That's what I would want. And every student volunteers at a place like the soup kitchen and every student attends an annual camping trip ... of the ropes course variety ... for bonding. I guess I couldn't force those, it would be against the philosophy, but I'd offer it. I just want to take the mob mentality out of high school. These kids need individualized educations and personal attention. An educational system can't serve everyone's needs if it doesn't allow for different paces of learning.

Can I make a high school where we teach sustainability, survival skills, permaculture, Eastern philosophies and exercise, how to make stuff, including art, as well as math and reading and science and history and analyzing and writing? Or is that just all the stuff I like? OR, could that become an environment that a small group of students at a time could make their own, get comfortable enough to actually learn, and come out well-adjusted self-starters, equipped mentally, emotionally, and physically to live happily and successfully? The kind of students who would choose this school - it wouldn't be forced on anyone. (the kind of student who walks the halls of the enormous public HS wishing she were dead so she didn't have to be there ... yes, like me.)

How would we deal with discipline? Would we kick them out if they used drugs? I don't want to run a stoner club. What would it cost? Would there be good relationships between staff? Would it be too hard to get such an alternative school chartered. Probably. Would the tax money be worth the bureaucratic pain in the ass? Probably. Is it selfish to only worry about my own kids and forget it? Can we budget in international backpacking? Cause that's really what I want to do. ....Questionable, though, how fun would that be with 20 teenagers.

Why do I always have to have an idea festering in my head? An idea in the idea stage. Not like an idea in the almost done and now you can enjoy it stage, like, we bought a house and move in this weekend. I did think about that quite a bit today, too - but where's the challenge in that? No more puzzles to work out there.

Thorn Apple Valley is the WORST bacon I have ever used. It is nearly all fat. And so thin it sticks to the pan. If you buy it for your brunch party, it will make you even crabbier .

saw Wilco Sunday night at UIC. They played shot in the arm second and we were right up front and it took my breath away and I smiled uncontrollably and cried a little. That's my measure of a good show. I had a good time with Chris. We had dinner with BJ and Andi before at their house - that was really nice and my new favorite Thai dish is Panang noodles.

Yesterday all I ate was candy cookies and coffee and I felt AWFUL, so today I remembered No Sugar. Gracie and I went grocery shopping while the girls were at Liberty Belles. We snacked on apples and cheesesticks.

We went to the park with Mom and Violet yesterday. The last two days have been so beautiful out. Violet and Gracie play with each other now and Gracie even bosses around Violet now - it used to be the other way around. I think the power will continue to shift. They kept going down the slide together, climb back up the jungle gym, fun to the top of the slide, sit down and yell arms up, then slide down together and laugh and laugh. Violet sat on Gracie's side of the slide once and Gracie yelled at her to get out of her spot. It's fun to see them change from playing alone, next to each other, to playing together.

I'm feeling better about Margaret being in Nigeria. I can talk to her pretty easily now. She has an internet card now, but she couldn't get back to me this morning because the power went out, which happens regularly. Seems so backward to have wireless internet but unreliable basic electricity. When she first leaves, I prepare myself mentally for her to die. I guess I get over that fear after about a week.

I'm reading the girls the Tao of Pooh. I realize it's not a kids' book. It's my viewpoint and I'm sharing it. My job as a parent is to nurture, expose, and assist. We are also reading some My America books. We read all of Sophia's Immigrant Diary yesterday. I wish we had read that before we visited Boston this summer. If we go back, it will be all about graveyards!

Eleanor and I got our haircut together Saturday morning then met Grandma for tea and chandelier browsing. On Friday, she did five loads of laundry, and all the dishes. She cleaned the bathroom and did more laundry and dishes over the weekend. She is exerting her independence and I LOVE it. She actually asks permission to do these things. Like I'd say no to anyone who wanted to do these two most hated chores? I am so proud of her. She's acting so grown up.

We worked on the farm Sunday. The girls had a blast. I can still picture Charlotte jump-roping between rows of strawberries. The time went so fast. I have to work up to weeding all day. I kept picturing the little old Japanese ladies on our block who were completely and permanently folded over. I couldn't stand up at first after a few hours. I really want to do this. I ripped my own garden out today. The girls played in the sandbox - all three in the little turtle, and then the big girls played on their swing and they made a roly-poly farm. (Just this morning Charlotte cried over an hour at discovering her toad of two days had escaped - Eleanor had released her fresh-from-the-farm frog the day before at the river. also tears. so now, roly-polys.) Gracie is so cute, how she plays so long, alone. She speaks for dolls, now. Like, the dolls have out-loud conversations. That's fun. She can say the Pledge of Allegiance now, but won't recite on request, so I don't think anyone believes me.

Chris and Bob stopped by tonight to drop off 25# of organic carrots they got on sale. We had pizza and Bob had the girls laughing and laughing. Some of us pee when we laugh. They love him. Them. They are really good to the girls. They've already bought and showed me the girls' Christmas presents.

It's dawning on me that I'm not a college kid playing house anymore. This is our life and it's really great. I keep thinking, when we have enough money, then we'll be a valid family. I used to think when we bought a house we'd be valid, but that would never happen, but it seems to be working out. My anxieties are breaking away and I can see that our world is a beautiful place. I love my kids and I love my husband.

I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do with 25# of carrots that won't last much longer.

why I want to farm

I went to a CRAFT field day today. I was invited by the afore mentioned farmer, Bill, who I plan to work with. He is extremely generous with information; I can learn a lot from him. Per his suggestion, I'm considering starting a very small CSA for next year. Maybe 5 families. I feel very at home with the other eco-ag farmers. They're an appealing balance of 'laid-back' and 'not messin around.' There is no putting on airs. Maybe that would be obvious? So, an easy sense of belonging to the community is one reason I would want to farm. The biggest reason is I feel like it's the right thing to do. People need nutritious, local food. I want to know how to provide that and to teach others how to grow their own. If the food system falls apart, I don't want my family to be affected. I want my family to have the best health I can provide them, within our means, and growing our own food assures me of that. ...I have an adolescent need to be independent. I like to be outside. I like to live with the seasons. I like to create. I like creative problem solving. I like the infinite possibilities in farming. I want to be an entrepreneur and there is a growing demand for local, organic food. There are many parallels between the artist and the small eco-farmer - the planning, creating, and sharing of a product. The 'hands on, get dirty, and not work for the man' of it. The independence of it.

I like to watch things grow.

I never got over wanting to be Little House on the Prairie.
...

The house we're trying to buy has nothing to with being a farmer, but that's OK. With the 8000 tax credit and appraising for 7000 more than we're contracted for, I figure we're already 15,000 ahead. Considering we have 0 savings and lots of student loans, this is a good first investment for us. In a few years (you have to live in the house 3 years to keep the 8000) maybe we'll be ready to have our own farm. Or maybe not. But our small backyard will not be a bad thing. If anything, it will keep me from getting too gung-ho on side projects.

you know what else inspired me? in 2001, the first time I got out of the house without my first and tiny baby Eleanor, I went to Ladyfest Midwest with my sister at the empty bottle and saw Tracy and the Plastics.


She was awesome. I bought a Tshirt for 6 dollars that she printed on a thrift store shirt. It was pink. Five years later I saw her again and she sucked. She didn't care at all. I threw out my Tshirt.

You know what else I like? Did I already put this up?


Especially because in grad school I loved William Kentridge.


(Chris is home! Where has the time gone?)

a horsewoman is born.

week of the unfinished quilt
Gracie wants to ride horses, too.
If there's one thing we do around here, it's dance.
Eleanor asked me to make several poses while she photographed me washing kale.

Sometimes I look at her and think, oh my god, she's beautiful.



Charlotte made herself a swing.
Hot chocolate party.
Dusting off artifacts...
from our archeological dig project.
Fire safety field trip
First Friday - for better or worse, I am an amazonian.
Personal timeline project to start off our new history text.

And for the record, today was a very productive Math Monday. It may not be unschooling to tell them they can play on the DS five minutes for every worksheet they complete, but it's really fun to hear how much they love math after they get past the initial barrier of fearing it/not feeling like doing it. (We have just started Math-U-See, which uses colorful blocks to help explain arithmetic.) Also, work was really fun today. I gave my students the choice of building life-size paper mache skeletons or small shadow boxes with little skeletons for Day of the Dead.