We got a dog! Our first dog ever. I feel like such a grown up with my house and my dog and my husband and 3 kids. Wow. I would have felt all restless and rebellious if it hadn't been so hard to get this far. I am naming her Alice Marcella after 2 of Pa's sisters. I already named Eleanor after the third (sister.) She looks like an Alice. White with red spots English Pointer. Pictures to come. 4 months or so. Rescue dog - awesome shelter. Can finally hang up obsessive petfinder addiction.

Funeral and wake were very nice. I've enjoyed the time with family and didn't shed a tear. I love Pa and I'll miss him, but his life was so great and his passing was so ideal that I really feel more celebratory than sad about 92 good years. My cousins and I were pall-bearers again. I thought we all looked so nice and grown up in our black suits. It was a beautiful, sunny day.

I went back to the house tonight to introduce "Alice" and participate in the "who gets what furniture" game. There is a blue butterfly plate from Brazil - at least 60 years old, that I had always wanted and asked Pa for, and apparently it was a hot item that several people wanted. When I got there, they tricked me that it was going to a mean aunt we don't really talk to. They got me. Said my veins were popping out of my neck. I was trying to play it cool - but it wasn't really about the object - it was about these distant, pushy relatives and wanting everybody to stand up to them. As soon as I got home, I set about hanging it in a safe, very high place on the wall. Chris took over and accidentally removed a chunk of plaster instead, so its in a closet for now. They will kill me if it breaks.

It's 2 in the morning and our puppy hasn't cried once in the crate. In fact, in the 12 hours we've had her, I haven't heard a peep from her. We had looked at her sister first - very rambunctious but livable, then looked at Alice just for the heck of it, and she walked right to me and curled up in my lap and I felt her long velvety ears and it was all over. She and I went for a little jog after the kids went to bed. This was in lieu of sitting down to eat cookies. I also keep picking up the house because I don't want her to chew anything. She's already a serene little personal trainer and flylady all in one.

Pa died sometime Saturday night. Before he went to bed, he said to his three kids, who all happened to be there, "in case I check out,.." and went on to tell them how much he loved them and their life together and how great they all were. I spent Sunday at Pa's/my dad's, sorting some plans out and just being together. I feel more love for family than a sense of loss, as he led a happy and long life and passed peacefully, but today I am exhausted and I don't feel like doing any homeschooling or anything really that involves getting off the couch.

Its that time of year again when, even though I've become more confident and comfortable with my decision to homeschool, I feel a little panicky as the rest of the kids go back to school and Eleanor wonders why she doesn't just join them. The girls have been bickering a lot and (some) very argumentative with me. I think they just need some structure and challenge. I've been reading about problem based learning and thinking that will be our focus for now.

I've been painting the house lately and looking for a dog. I settled on just the right aqua for the hallway (after painting it the wrong aqua) but we haven't found the right rescue dog yet.

We saw My Morning Jacket last night. They were awesome. Chris took me to see Eat, Pray, Love at one of those theatres that serve food. The book was so much better - hard to stuff all that into 2 hours, the food was sub-Denny's, but the company was exquisite. I love my husband. He joined the girls and I for a nature walk the other day. That was especially nice because Gracie screamed the whole way there and Eleanor whined the whole way back.

We went to Michigan together last week for the day with some friends and had the best time at the beach. This weekend we had his parents over for dinner as a response to the ten years of Sunday BBQ's we've had at their house. It went really well and I enjoyed their company. My dad called while they were over and I cried because I was afraid he was calling to tell me Pa was dying. I talked to Pa yesterday and he sounds very different, like he can barely talk. I hung up and cried. I am a pre-griever.

Took a little trip up to Michigan to mooch off BFF's vacation. Picked blueberries on the way up and peaches on the way back, swam in the lake, rode horses and go-karts, had lots of fun and a little ice-cream and smores: 2 days.

I saw my dream car since I was 12 up there and Dan was around to tell me what it is, a 72 bronco. Really any bronco from 66 to 77, turquoise, with a roll bar and huge tires. I'm not a car person and I don't deserve one because I want to drive it and not baby it, but if I could have any car, that'd be it. same for 20 years.

The puppet theatre and table of supplies for independent sock puppet construction.


My two best sisters.

Annual grotto picture in the sun.

I photographed my friend Amy's wedding this weekend.




I really loved this one with her son and the toad he'd found.
Last month or so we went to Turkey Run. The trails were really beautiful. My grandparents honeymooned there.

Despereaux died and we had a funeral.
I was a bit depressed this spring and didn't put much up. Below is from a difficult photoshoot of all the grandkids.



Easter

Ballet recital

Gracie had a birthday, too.



We all 5 went to family day at the CSO.



See that face and know I'm in trouble.

stayed up past 5. It felt great to paint in the basement. without the pressure of creating a masterpiece, painting is my favorite. listened to the Beastie Boys and painted big and sloppy, in a Tshirt and underwear. felt like college. concluded I only like painting big sloppy and colorful. occurred to me that, in fact, I am big, sloppy and colorful - everything about me is. I painted the chairs, painted the boards for the theatre, baked the cakes, and made 6 of 40 napkins before calling it quits on that idea and going to bed. Just finished assembling the puppet theatre outside: Yay for duct tape. And man is it hot out. taking a little break before I wash the floor. I know, nobody cares. We all had french toast and bacon together and talked about when Eleanor was born for a long time. Chris took all the girls to see Despicable Me. Fun for all, including me. Yes. I now find more pleasure in cleaning alone than in seeing a movie. Its all about context.

We're having a party tomorrow. I try to keep it casual but I always start too many projects when I'm on 'we're having a party' adrenaline rush. It is 10:00. P.M. The only thing I've accomplished so far is most of the shopping. Arracheras go on sale tomorrow, so I'll just get in line with everyone else waiting to get 10# tenderized then. What I had the audacity to think I would get done before bed today (and totally confident of until the last five minutes in the car when all girls started screaming or crying about 9PM):

1. paint circus stripes on 3 4'x8' pieces of cardboard
2. jigsaw circus-like curly-q's into these
3. assemble into a puppet theatre with hinges
4. bake a 3 tier cake
5. make the frosting
6. sew 40 napkins (I bought and cut 10 kinds of fabric to make reusable napkins yesterday when I also bought 3 dozen settings of IKEA kids tableware so we never buy paper goods for a party again.)
7. paint dining room chairs (same paint as puppet theatre)
8. assemble puppet making craft for party guests
9. Don't stress out Chris with too many projects

Tomorrow: make special birthday breakfast, grocery shop, make guacamole, make fruit basket out of a watermelon, clean house, frost cake, put that bed lying against the house - that I dragged up from the basement by myself a month ago that Chris says we can't put on the curb because his friend in Colorado might sleep over one day even though he never has and we don't have a mattress for it - back in the basement, shower, don't stress Chris out with too many projects.

No wonder I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown by the time anyone shows up.

Pa had another small stroke and went into the hospital today. Each one feels like a wave goodbye. Will meditate on this while making red velvet cakes.