crazy ass tired

Chris said there was some yellow mystery liquid on the plastic wrap of the leftover vegetables he was eating. He said smell my hand. I didn't know either. Well I found it this afternoon. Rotten red pepper. I threw all six into the compost then picked five back up, smeared off the slime, and brought them back in and washed them. So be forewarned if you come over and I serve stuffed red peppers.

I went to Wal Mart yesterday and tried to buy things my family would like. I spent twice as much as usual and bought five kinds of meat. It is such a burden to be an educated label reader. I can't just pick stuff up and throw it in the cart. I know too much. My failure in grocery shopping is perfectionism. I made pork chops last night because Charlotte wanted dumplings. I sauteed an onion and an apple and then fried little pork medallions. They were good. I also sauteed brussel sprouts fresh off the stalk, which Eleanor used as a back scratcher, cauliflower, and of course, dumplings. I still have a bin of assorted greens nagging me for attention before they suffer a fate similar to the red pepper.

We went to the gym today and Gracie could see me and kept waving and running off. I was happy she didn't cry for me. Her words are starting to form. It reminds me of when cooking pudding the milk just starts to get silky before it thickens. Her language seems so tangible. She sat in her playpen so pleasantly tonight while I read science and sometimes we made eyes at each other. She likes sitting in her boppy.



We had a reading picnic today because it was amazingly beautiful weather. We laid on a blanket and read The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. I took some pictures; the light was magical.

(Charlotte made this for Despereaux the mouse while I read.)

Eleanor brought with her to Sue's today my orange corduroys and an orange shirt and I asked her if it was because she missed me and she started sobbing in the car. She wouldn't stop hugging me when I dropped her off and then went into the bathroom to be alone. Sue said she wore the outfit twice that night. I suddenly remembered how Eleanor cried almost everyday last fall because we didn't see each other between her school and my work. I am glad we're doing this (unschooling.)

This morning I woke up with a longing for Japan, having dreamt again that I was there and unable to see our Japanese friends. It is like waking up after dreaming about a bad ex boyfriend who was great in the dream and then you miss him all morning (for the record, I don't have these anymore.) I am beginning to recognize these dreams as just missing Japan and realize that I don't want to move back. We have a lot of nice friends here now and I have no desire to start custom building a community again.

Hey!  Tomorrow is the big day.  I've been looking forward to election day like my own birthday.  I have been excited for Obama since his senate acceptance speech.  I briefly thought about taking the girls down to Grant Park in case of a historic and local victory, but not only did Chris forbid it, if he loses there might be a riot. Also, today I remembered when I took them last summer to see The Sound of Music in Grant Park  and Eleanor got lost in the dark and I vowed I would never do that again.  Oh my god it will be crazy down there.  We'll watch it on TV.