Bumblebee feels in a state of chaos. Our routine has not been recovered since the move. The TV keeps coming on. I feel too much in a flat spin to fully take charge. This vague sense of panic is probably my disjointed way of worrying that the budget is supposed to come out tomorrow and we may lose our jobs.

I need a cleaning schedule.

An expense paid working week in Japan for June was presented to me today. I'm afraid to embrace it because I don't want to be disappointed. But... I think I'll dig out my nihongo books. I wrote an artist bio for the project. It's hard to write about yourself as an artist when you've been too busy to make anything lately. Perhaps part of this panic is that disconnect I feel from not making art.

I need a studio schedule.

My sister is becoming an international business woman and I know what I'm doing as a homeschooling mother is important, but it's hard not to question it a little when I see what could be. I start to panic when I worry I'm not living up to my potential.